Dispondent

I was and still am a great mom. The fact that I even have to say that is ridiculous. I was Classmother for 9 consecutive years, never missed a school function, took my child to ballet, gymnastics, equestrian activities and helped my child with homework, projects, and even a doctoral program until she was 33 years old. I was emotional, physically and financially supportive to my child. Despite all this and my feeling that I deserve not just appreciation but some kind of loyalty, my daughter has walked away and continues to torture me. I have read books for support and attempted to find local face to face support but I feel like my heart is too broken to ever heal. This may sound like negative thought, but I never would have done this to one of my parents. This child who is now and adult professional is so alien to me I cannot even believe she is my daughter. She is not my only child. I have another child who is the exact opposite, (Thank God) so it could not be parenting skills. I keep wondering where I went wrong, how did this happen, was I blind or just stupid. I would not let anyone else abuse me so. Why am I tolerating this? There are no words to calm my psyche!