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Post by dontdeservethis on Feb 28, 2017 21:06:56 GMT
My journey has taken years, and I'm not there yet. But I have a lot to thank this group for during those years. I feel like I'm ready to leave my self imposed exile and rejoin the world, coming out of my cocoon. My estrangement from my ED ripped my guts out and now I'm scraping them off the pavement, stuffing them back in, and patching myself up with bits and pieces of my hard won peace.
So to that end, DH and I are going camping tomorrow! Just a short two day trip, but it's a big step for me. I love camping, always have, and we haven't been in 20 years.
My self esteem took a big hit through all of this and I still struggle with it, what kind of person has a daughter who hates her, etc.
I'd love to see more people come here, I miss the comraderi. Well that's all for now, I've gotta finish packing!
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Post by topiarystepmom on Feb 28, 2017 21:53:25 GMT
Hope that you enjoy your camping trip! You deserve to have a good time!
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jennb
New Member
Posts: 16 
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Post by jennb on Mar 1, 2017 20:31:21 GMT
Dear Don't deserve this, reading your post prompted me to respond, I sooo understand and feel your pain. I have been estranged from my only child, son, and my beloved grandchildren for nearly four years now. It is gut wrenching and brutal beyond words! What you refer to as your "cocoon" I call "my bubble" and I believe it has been necessary for my healing and honestly, I've come to understand I deserve it! We moved to our senior community very shortly after things fell apart...It's a beautiful Del Webb community in Northern California, two beautiful clubhouse, two 18 hole champion ship golf courses, a sports arena, restaurants, sports bar, golf cart friendly, even in town!!...About 7000 homes in Del Webb, homes are senior friendly, low maintenance yards, single story, bathrooms wide for wheelchairs, grip bars and seats in showers, etc. I guess my point is we never would've relocated here (about 45min drive from son and his family) had this estrangement not occurred, and our neighbors are like-minded, over 55, I rarely hear or see young people visiting their senior family members except for Thanksgiving and Christmas and frankly, most of the folks that live here like it that way!! The younger generations have their own set of rules and they're sooooo much more "evolved" than us ol' folks!!!😁 except when it comes to taking our money!! It's taken me a long time to achieve this point of view, and many days I think I'd rather die than live with out any kin, but I come out of it and move on. Like you, this site, and the previous one, saved my life and sanity many days early on when my heart ached so badly I wanted to end it all. There's such a stigma associated with this situation, so many folks act as if we parents did wrong or somehow should be capable of fixing it...Like you said, who has kids that hate them? Sorry if this post is long and somewhat scattered, I could go on and on, but please know there's others out here who know your shame (I felt shame), your sorrow, your grief, and your struggle. You must live your life because tomorrow is not promised to anyone. If you feel any benefit in sharing stories, just let me know, I could write an f-ing book. Hope camping is good, I used to love it too, but these days I only camp at places that leave a mint on my pillow at night!!!
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Post by sovgrateful on Mar 6, 2017 2:10:33 GMT
I haven't been on in a while. I hope you enjoyed your camping trip "don'tdeservethis" Also, I agree with every word you say jennb.
I know it still stings at times like during the holidays etc that on the part of our "piece of work" there's not even the curiosity to ask how we are after 10 years now (2007, since we actually saw her last) geez, how the time flies.. We were in contact with her by email during my mothers' probate..she popped up for that as she had to cash in..since then not a word.. It's hard still at times to actually acknowledge in the cold light of day, that she walked after so much love, support and dedication on our part. I,for the most part, am over it, but as I say, there are days when old memories return, hearing a certain song we used to sing along to, a shared joke etc. that I wonder how come she's such a hard hearted sociopath? lol Then I take a deep breath and carry on..
I too miss our camaderie here.. I was just thinking yesterday of how many people PWWA has helped, myself included..and that it's such a great pity that it isn't as active as before. I will turn up more regularly, and hopefully others too..
I just went over to a Hypothyroid site on DS that I was a member of..they are picking up a little over there, more recent posts etc. Once again I repeat it was reckless of DS to change format..they actually damaged many with their actions.. Anyway, that's all for me for now..have a great spring y'all.. I will visit more often, and I encourage us all to do the same..
Sov
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Post by ginateresa on Mar 21, 2017 19:24:52 GMT
Loved reading all your posts! I can relate to just about every word....
I, too, hope the site activity picks up and also agree that DS messed up by changing formats causing us to lose alot of folks.....including myself....I'm not computer savvy....LOL
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Post by xdoutmom on Apr 17, 2017 7:36:56 GMT
Oh my goodness, I found you all again! jennb I am in No. Cal too! I wondered what happened to this group? I found the new Peace board and thought maybe this group was incorporated into it?
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