On The Subject Of Xmas

This was another piece I published on DS - I want us to have a little library of pieces that we can read and remember from that time -

--Everybody believes in the "Magic of Christmas". It is a story of love, forgiveness, of miracles and Christmas wishes. There are kids, people of all ages really, a few puppies thrown in for good measure and of course, Santa Claus. There are religious themes - after all - the name Christmas means something more than - get your bargains on Black Friday or Midnight Madness. The birth of Christ has deep meaning for many people all over the world

I have to be honest - Christmas has never been a favorite holiday for me - When I was a kid - it sucked. When I got married the first time, I divorced during Xmas. Then we had the classic MOMMY and the kiddies scenario - where once, they left our presents on the porch, where sometimes, we saw them, sometimes we did not. There was the classic Birthday/Christmas cluster fuck for our GD's 2nd birthday - (I just published a reprint of THAT one), and the suck gifts (extension cord, barrettes), the isolation where we didn't see anyone, and times (like these days) where we have barely celebrated at all.

Someone on another post said "With all the reminders in the media etc of how our "family" picture is suppose to be, it's a hard time for many of us who feel we have suffered a loss. Maybe we aren't crying in our cheerios every morning, but it takes a bit more work over the holidays to stay focused on what is instead of how is apparently suppose to be."

Another commented on how it is a "reminder of what you don't have, whether it be that big diamond or loved ones around your table, you're bombarded with what your life "should" look like this time of year".

I find it interesting that all this points to is this "fairy tale" scenario that everyone thinks we should be immersed in. But WHY?

If you think about it - how many people really have such "fairy tale" lives? Who are these people? Where do they live? Many of them are on our TV - in the programs and the commercials. But these shows and commercials don't ever follow any of it through - We never find out what happens after that diamond is given, that dinner is eaten - do they all really live "happily ever after"? Or do they actually demoralize each other during their holiday post-mortums.

Maybe the big diamond is from someone who won't really love you - maybe he'll even wind up regularly beating the shit out of you. Maybe the dinner table is filled with loved ones who talk about you behind your back. Maybe Uncle Mo is a child molester or maybe Mom is a drunk. We'll never know because we don't know who these people are and more important, what they are capable of doing under that happy holiday veneer. They are, after all, figments of somebody's imagination.

My favorite is the Pandora bracelet commercial. I actually got my husband to finally ask me if I wanted one - just by saying "Aw - look - each charm is for an event in our lives". I actually didn't want one - but the commercial was very effective and almost convinced both my husband and me, that I did!

So are we being scammed here? Can happiness be that easily found? If only we could all just have a Pandora bracelet - They are expensive but it would be a really small price to pay if it could bring us REAL happiness - wouldn't it? But we all know the answer to this question - don't we? True happiness isn't the in diamond, or the dinner or the bracelet. It's in us.

Want real happiness?, look at what you already have and be grateful. Because there are so many of us who so much less in this world.

To be grateful and gracious with what we have been given in life - I believe that THIS is where our TRUE happiness resides. But then, we don't ever see any commercials about it - because there is really no money to be made with gratitude or with grace. Just with greed.

Sarah Addison Allen once wrote that our "happiness is inevitable - if we can only just let it happen". I really do believe this. And I also believe that what most of us are looking for can Never be found in a big diamond, a family dinner or a Pandora bracelet! And that's kind of too bad - isn't it? Because THAT path to happiness would be SO much easier!