2nd Birthday and the Clusterfuck Xmas

For our more staid members, please bear with me - You've heard the story - but like The Night Before Xmas, some stories just need to be repeated lol

Okay kiddies – here is one of the Xmas stories that make it very clear why my husband and I do not have ANYTHING to do with our children!

A Birthday Party and the Clusterf__k Xmas

This a lynchpin event, which I firmly believe seriously contributed to the eminent demise of our family.

When our GD was turning 2, things were supposedly good with our daughter and the rest of the kids. Everyone was getting along, there was supposedly "love" within our family and life was good. Our gd (and daughter born the same day) had a birthday 3 days before Xmas.

Now for a little background - our Xmas down in NY was always a bit of a cluster fuck because the same people showed up every day from birthday time - the 22nd of Dec until Xmas - the 25th.

It was four days of holiday and celebration but it wasn't Woodstock I assure you. We had to stay with our daughter because we came down 6 hours from NH and needed somewhere to stay. But from the night we came down until the day we left, there were the same people there. There was our daughter, SIL, our son, DIL, our youngest daughter and our daughter's in-laws. EVERY DAY - the same group...

Now, I don't know about you, but we found seeing the same people (who had little to talk about in the first place), day after day - was a little boring. The second day - yes day (each days visit lasted about 5 hours or more), wasn't a holiday but everyone came over again. Xmas eve, we didn't see everyone - the kids spent Xmas eve at Mommy’s but since they didn't want to leave us alone on Xmas eve, our daughter's in-laws would volunteer to baby-sit us because they were Jewish and didn't celebrate Xmas with their family. Xmas day - everyone was back for the entire day although our daughter would have to leave Xmas morning to open presents at MOMMYs. You see, there was no such thing as taking turns - When it was the holidays, MOMMY got EVERY day - no matter what. The day after Xmas day, we would finally leave - (in retrospect, probably to everyone's great relief!)

So this time, it was our GD's second birthday - and about 2 days before we left to go down, we received a call from our daughter - She said our GD was sick and so the party was going to be canceled and so maybe it would be better if we didn't come down for THAT day and maybe just come for Xmas. But since I had prepared and packed everything, and had already taken time off of work I said we'd come down anyway - even if there was no birthday party.

When we drove down to their house - we saw our gd running around outside in the freezing cold - no hat, no gloves, her coat open - she didn't look too "sick" to us - she didn't even have a runny nose. That should have sounded the alarm but stupid us - we didn't think anything of it.

Next clue was when my SIL brought in a huge birthday cake - the one my daughter grabbed and threw across the kitchen counter - cursing - I was freaked out but when I asked her what was wrong, she said "nothing".

So we got through the holiday, went home and then returned several months later to visit again. When our daughter went in to check on our gd, we noticed a stack of pictures on the coffee table - In them, was our gd with a birthday hat on - blowing out birthday candles on a big birthday cake. When we started talking about when this party might have taken place, our daughter came flying out of the back bedroom - screaming and hollering like a banshee... How dare we talk about her behind her back in her own house?

So we sat her down and asked her what was wrong and also when this party had taken place. She again, screamed at us that SHE could have a party for her daughter anytime she wanted.

When we asked her why she went through such an elaborate ruse, she screamed that she hadn't wanted us there at the original party. We were honestly astounded - shocked really - we just didn't see this one coming. If she had only been honest, it would have saved us a hell of a lot of traveling, expense and boredom.

So we left her house and didn't speak to her again for 2 years - She never called, never apologized - it was just so terrible - we missed our gd and lost 2 years of seeing her grow up. None of our other children would speak to us either - we were given the silent treatment by all of them. If hadn't been for our GD, we would have probably never spoken to any of them again. But asshole that I am, I finally made a move towards reconciliation and the shit recycled again -

What a terrible mistake I made. I guess hindsight really IS 20/20.

So don't feel so bad about your situations, kiddies - when was the last time you were invited to a party , then dis-invited and humiliated in the process. I always say - just when you think you have it bad, you come across someone else you has it worse.

And if you are REALLY good - maybe next time, I'll tell you the story of our last Xmas with our EC - but I'll let you digest this story for a bit before I do.

Take Care
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