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Post by dontdeservethis on Sept 2, 2016 19:38:37 GMT
I've always come here when the Fall arrives to see how every one is getting on. (By "here" I meant DS) For me September is ED's birthday, so I start reminiscing.... Mostly everyone bolstered each other through Thanksgiving and Christmas etc. I've been bumping into more parents who have been kicked aside lately, seems like estrangement is our silent shame. Lucky for me DH has come around and is supportive, it was twice as hard when he was blinded and kept making excuses for ED. Ah well, I know better than to mope.....  |
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Post by topiarystepmom on Sept 3, 2016 20:55:21 GMT
There is no shame in this for us - Only for them - SHAME ON THEM! The holidays come and go. It is all in the way you look at things. And guess what - as the years go by, things seem to get better.
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Post by dontdeservethis on Sept 3, 2016 23:47:21 GMT
Thanks topiarystepmom, when looking back I wish I hadn't taken so long to catch on. I was a chump for so many years not seeing ED's duplicity.
I haven't known her real self for a long time. Funny I worry (not the right word) that I won't remember what she even looks like.
I have to deal with the reality that I probably won't see her again in this life, ha it doesn't affect me like before.
Sorry just rambling on.....😂
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Post by topiarystepmom on Sept 4, 2016 16:15:07 GMT
Funny you should say that because actually, even though I had them blocked from facebook, a mutual fb friend had a picture of them from a summer bbq - They all gained so much weight and our daughter's hair looked like she had been plucked like a chicken ick! They all looked so much older and SO mediocre...I think I might have preferred to remember them the way they they looked the last time I saw them - still (and always) mediocre but somewhat thinner (and with possibly better hair!) lol.
Meanwhile, my husband happened to look upon his ex's fb page and guess what - there she was - waxing self righteously about how she had been so successful in her life blah blah blah - and how she had pulled herself up by her own bootstraps after divorcing her "abusive" husband.
As hurtful as this was for my husband, there was NO shame in that for US - NONE!!! But SHAME ON HER! - especially because next year, in the "real" world, her "abusive ex-husband and I will have been married 40 years and will have been living (fairly happily, I might add), together for 44 years!
Hmmm - One just might wonder - how abusive could he have been? Because NEWSFLASH,, in the "real "world, abusive people are NOT selectively abusive - are they?
So it is pretty safe to say that this woman was, is and always will be a total narcissist and a staggering ASSHOLE. But as hurtful and spiteful as she was, is and always will be, (btw - she turns 80 this month so she's pretty much in the home stretch  , her behavior continues to cause embarrassment for her 2 remaining children as well as herself!!. So she, like our two ridiculous children and their offspring, is deserving only of our scorn and, perhaps, in our more charitable moments, our pity.
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Post by dontdeservethis on Sept 5, 2016 21:53:35 GMT
Funny thing about Facebook, people feel the need to present themselves as idk superstars? Like look at me I'm so wonderful and you're not. I keep a fb page with no information on it, not my real name or any selfies. So I'm not too surprised your hubby's ex posted bs.
Topiarystepmom, just wanted you to know that someone (admin?) at DS keeps deleting any posts referencing this forum. I have an ongoing post over there which you replied to telling people to come here and it's disappeared.
I've been back and forth between the two sites trying to "ping" 😋
Never quit, living well is the best revenge😇 😉 😅
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Post by topiarystepmom on Sept 5, 2016 23:42:08 GMT
Thanks
Hey - We've got nothing to lose - right?
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Post by alfreda on Sept 6, 2016 12:54:28 GMT
no longer silent and don't feel any shame. People who know I have a daughter and ask after her I just shrug and say have no clue how she is, she can't be bothered with family, doesn't care. Usual response is "what a shame" and my usual response to shrug and talk about things that are much NICER.
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Post by topiarystepmom on Sept 7, 2016 23:06:40 GMT
We do the same - good for us all, Alfreda!
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Post by sovgrateful on Sept 10, 2016 19:31:44 GMT
Good for all is right! 👍
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dina
New Member
Posts: 2 
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Post by dina on Oct 4, 2016 20:05:02 GMT
The last time I saw Ms Rockstar ED, her hair was a mangy blonde and she had also gained even more weight. Luvs her those greasy key lime pies w/ whipped cream! The colored blonde hair sorta threw her dad and me, but that faux grin was still there and even more polished than ever. Just trying so hard to look like the family of bigots she tossed us under the bus for. #shame
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Post by dontdeservethis on Oct 5, 2016 1:20:07 GMT
Welcome Dina ! We have many of the same problems. My ED keeps finding new Mother's, she's on her third one now. Funny you say your ED's appearance changed, I am a little afraid I wouldn't recognize mine if she showed up. I had a vivid dream the other night that she just stood in the doorway silent looking shell shocked with white hair.
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Post by astlyr on Oct 8, 2016 20:47:35 GMT
Alfreda, I'm with you. I have very little shame about the situation any longer. I've tried until I'm literally sick and our EDs are just as nasty if not nastier than they always were. When people ask, about them, depending on how well I know them, I just stick to the bare facts that I do know, as our other children keep us somewhat informed of the ongoings of at least one ED. The other gets asked about less because She's always been a b*tch, who only thinks of herself. If I know the person asking pretty well, I just tell them flat out, they don't talk to us anymore. They are mad at us for some reason for the one ED and that the other ED has mental illness involving a personality disorder, so therefore we are of no use to her unless there is something in it for her to gain. Then I change the topic to something more pleasant.
When asked how our grandkids are, I say, "They are good. We don't get to see them as much as we'd like, but isn't that often the case?" That usually either stops that line of conversation, or the person agrees and sometimes opens up about the fact that they rarely get to see one or more grandchildren because of the selfish behavior of one of their kids or kid's spouses. There seems to either be a lot more people opening up about family issues like this, or there is just a lot more of these issues now than years ago.
The holidays have always kind of sucked for me. I literally can only remember a couple that were even remotely decent, let alone fun, so this year will just be a different kind of *u*ked up. Wait! Not even that different. It's mostly been family messes at their finest. This year the mess just won't be put aside or have a fake friendly dinner. It will probably be what I'd label the "misfit Christmas", those members of our family that have been bullied and pooh-poohed by the rest of our family members & those that can actually make it. I've always wanted that great "everyone's getting along" get together holiday season. But no! That won't be happening ever again. So at least I have grieved and let go of that dream. The good side of this is that probably for the first time ever I get to spend holidays with the people that actual gift a crap about me. It might be very few people, but that's going to be ok. It might even be less stressful.
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, her behavior continues to cause embarrassment for her 2 remaining children as well as herself!!. So she, like our two ridiculous children and their offspring, is deserving only of our scorn and, perhaps, in our more charitable moments, our pity.
