Post by topiarystepmom on Aug 16, 2016 3:14:49 GMT
We had suspected for quite a while that our GD and her third cousin (the daughter of our ED’s first cousin) were both gay. I’m not sure when our ED got the memo on that – but what was ultimately revealed (via the cousin’s blog), was that the cousin was also transgender and in the process of transitioning (hormones and a double mastectomy). It was also revealed that the two of them had been seriously, romantically involved with each since 2008 and that our GD was the love of the cousin’s life and there was a future of marriage and having children.
The cousin's blog told me about the struggle to get the family to accept this decision, about therapy sessions, and about how the family insisted that our GD was influencing her/him to undergo this change so that she wouldn’t technically be viewed as a lesbian anymore – which seems quite ridiculous. It also spoke about how our GD had finally told our ED and SIL about this relationship - but only after waiting 6 years to do so.
I had wondered how our ED - aka Ms Perfect with a big stick up her ass – was truly handling this. She had always been about what people think. What about our fairly simplistic and rather homophobic SIL and his mother (the MIL who calls me)? And what about our very homophobic ES – And finally, what about the MOMMY – did SHE even know? After all – this is not something that could be quietly kept secret – or swept under the rug - All of the people involved – including the young lovers - were actually blood related – And this was a family that considers itself “close”. This was in fact, a family our ED chose to throw us under the bus for..
So now, the irony continues! The latest blog entry highlights the marriage proposal this cousin has made to our GD. Now it’s official – they are engaged and planning to marry next year!
So it went from our ED et al learning her daughter is gay, that she is in a serious relationship, that the relationship is with her cousin and that the cousin is transgender. All of this could be somewhat minimized, ignored even – were these people all not part of the same family. The engagement just brings it all into focus – giving it even more attention, more credibility. And while it is somehow sad that our ED may truly be suffering as a result of the great happiness our GD and her cousin may have found with each other, it works for them. Our ED and her antiquated values and regimented outlook on life just has to change. There is actually a chance that she may have to adjust to the fact that it is all about her daughter’s happiness and NOT about what our ED wants or needs! That finally, something is NOT all about HER!
The irony is that our ED had always thought that SHE was in control – of her life and especially, in control of all the people in it…people who not only included her immediate family, but my husband and me as well. Turns out she was never as in control as much as she thought she was – in fact, she had never been in control AT ALL. It all just goes to show ya – Shit happens and life doesn’t always go the way you want it to go. But maybe – just maybe - sometimes true love really does will out. One can only hope.
The blog talks about an engagement party, when the wedding will be and how they will be making plans. My husband and I are wishing them every happiness. But – every time I think of what our ED has dealt with since the big reveal several years ago and what she will have to deal with every day in the future, and every time I imagine them all celebrating at the wedding, I just burst out laughing.
And to anyone who wants to go ahead and blame me – I dare ya!
The cousin's blog told me about the struggle to get the family to accept this decision, about therapy sessions, and about how the family insisted that our GD was influencing her/him to undergo this change so that she wouldn’t technically be viewed as a lesbian anymore – which seems quite ridiculous. It also spoke about how our GD had finally told our ED and SIL about this relationship - but only after waiting 6 years to do so.
I had wondered how our ED - aka Ms Perfect with a big stick up her ass – was truly handling this. She had always been about what people think. What about our fairly simplistic and rather homophobic SIL and his mother (the MIL who calls me)? And what about our very homophobic ES – And finally, what about the MOMMY – did SHE even know? After all – this is not something that could be quietly kept secret – or swept under the rug - All of the people involved – including the young lovers - were actually blood related – And this was a family that considers itself “close”. This was in fact, a family our ED chose to throw us under the bus for..
So now, the irony continues! The latest blog entry highlights the marriage proposal this cousin has made to our GD. Now it’s official – they are engaged and planning to marry next year!
So it went from our ED et al learning her daughter is gay, that she is in a serious relationship, that the relationship is with her cousin and that the cousin is transgender. All of this could be somewhat minimized, ignored even – were these people all not part of the same family. The engagement just brings it all into focus – giving it even more attention, more credibility. And while it is somehow sad that our ED may truly be suffering as a result of the great happiness our GD and her cousin may have found with each other, it works for them. Our ED and her antiquated values and regimented outlook on life just has to change. There is actually a chance that she may have to adjust to the fact that it is all about her daughter’s happiness and NOT about what our ED wants or needs! That finally, something is NOT all about HER!
The irony is that our ED had always thought that SHE was in control – of her life and especially, in control of all the people in it…people who not only included her immediate family, but my husband and me as well. Turns out she was never as in control as much as she thought she was – in fact, she had never been in control AT ALL. It all just goes to show ya – Shit happens and life doesn’t always go the way you want it to go. But maybe – just maybe - sometimes true love really does will out. One can only hope.
The blog talks about an engagement party, when the wedding will be and how they will be making plans. My husband and I are wishing them every happiness. But – every time I think of what our ED has dealt with since the big reveal several years ago and what she will have to deal with every day in the future, and every time I imagine them all celebrating at the wedding, I just burst out laughing.
And to anyone who wants to go ahead and blame me – I dare ya!